May 1
to have
luck all the month long
your
first words on the first of the month
before
speaking anything to anyone
should be
the word rabbits three times,
rabbits,
rabbits, rabbits.
today i
say it in the two o’clock hour.
May 2
after
waiting three hours in the bellevue emergency room for scrips
get to
the window in the bellevue pharmacy
10
minutes before closing
figuring
they’ll take my scrips now
and i’ll
pick them up later.
the
pharmacist processes the scrips then says,
“alright,
these are free and’ll be ready in 15 minutes.”
“huh?” i
say. “free? and you’re closing in a minute.”
“if you
give us the scrip before we close we fill it before we leave,
and all
your scrips were written in the emergency room,
so
they’re free.”
May 3
i got an
email from you.
“hey, why
don’t you come to my event?”
but you
don’t answer my emails,
emphasis
on the plural
so i
don’t think i’m gonna.
May 4
it
doesn’t happen all the times,
a few
one-way emails in each direction,
but when
they come i always think
how my
sister picked better this time around.
May 5
there’s
nobody better at playing nicolas cage
than
nicolas cage,
nobody.
May 6
please
don’t tell me that you hate cops,
please
don’t tell me that you think they’re evil.
May 7
i’ll keep
on trying
even
though you’re probably saying no again
because
you once said yes
and might
say again.
May 8
i still
write you emails
even
though you don’t write me emails back
and i’ve
kinda stopped writing you emails
because
you stopped writing emails back.
but i
learned to stop calling
when you
never were calling back,
so i
guess i’ll soon stop emailing,
and
you’ll have nothing to not reply to.
May 9
(sing to
your own tune)
thanks
for thanks.
hope to
see you down the road.
been too
long
we’ve not
crossed paths
been too
long
since we
said hello
email’s
such a bitch
even when
you say i love you who cares,
even when
you cross each others stares
so
even when
everything’s goin’ great
even when
even when
May 10
have no
money
a bit
past no money
in the
good direction
so i
order four pounds of kosher gummy bears.
next time
i have no money,
a bit
past no money
in the
bad direction
please
remind me of this.
May 11
i’m on
gummy bear watch,
monitoring
fedex for when they arrive.
when
after the latest refresh
i see
that they’ve been delivered and signed for
by
someone i’ve never heard of
who
doesn’t live in my apartment
and that
my door was knocked on.
after
calls to fedex and my building,
i call my
building’s security
tell them
the name that signed for the package.
“no, no
one with that name lives in the complex.”
i mention
the only other thing i could think of
is that
there’s this women
who lives
in my building
and picks
up peoples’ packages so no one steals them.
“yes,
yes. the name’s off by a letter.”
he gives
me her number,
and in a few
hours i’m in gummy glory.
May 12
please
explain to me,
why if
you live in long island
and are
in the city maybe five days a year,
you
wouldn’t want to eat in the city
then back
in long island
at some
place you’ve eaten half a dozen times.
May 13
mother’s
day,
and it’s
part two of our two-day extravaganza for my mom,
as my
brother’s family
still
doesn’t wanna deal with my sister
and my
sister is happier not dealing with them either.
May 14
i’m
thinking of not sending you emails about your favorite band anymore,
i’m
afraid i’m feeding this tunnel vision of yours
afraid
you don’t like any bands that still exist.
May 15
little
kid in the backseat
maybe
four or five
fast
asleep,
parents
put on nirvana’s “breed,”
cranked.
little
boy,
eyes
closed,
awakens
drumming,
furiously.
staged or
not,
best
family ever.
May 16
i can’t
remember if i kissed you,
or you
kissed me,
or if we
held hands and walked near city lights,
or just
talked close at that café i can only remember wasn’t trieste,
but i
like seeing your screen name pop up in my buddy list.
May 17
emailed
my niece michelle a picture of new met outfielder kirk nieuwenhuis.
he’s only
25,
more
suitable for 19 year old her,
my
recommendation of a substitute for
david wright,
who’ll be
turning 31 before year’s end.
May 18
i’m going
to see you before we die,
not in
some sort of distant suicide-suicide pact,
or old
age-suicide pact,
or old
age-old age pact,
or
diabetes-old age pact,
just an
i’m going to see you before we die pact,
because i
like seeing you.
May 19
“checking
back in,”
is my
number one with a bullet email sent subject line
a product
of organizing another 60-plus performer festival.
May 20
“if you
were going to be an hour late, why didn’t you call?”
my sister
says to my mom.
and after
a minute of sis getting it out of her system,
mom went
outside
and we
gave her some calm away from it time.
a minute
later we heard her start the car
and pull
away.
May 21
(sing to
your own tune)
i like
that you question
over and
over again,
you’re
thorough
searching
out to no end,
it’s what
i like most about you
it’s all
i know about you.
May 22
dear douglas,
what
happened? can u tell me.
dear
douglas,
was this
always you and when you were younger did it seem so cute.
dear
douglas,
has
nothing changed and i simply didn’t notice it.
dear
douglas,
seems 16
years don’t matter anymore,
but i
don’t care,
it just
ain’t worth it.
dear
douglas,
hope you
get better,
it’s
something i truly mean,
but
someone else will have to tell me about it,
though i
hope they don’t.
May 23
please
close me:
the
uncensored oral history of closing the refrigerator door
by legs
mcneil and gillian mccain
“i like
my dairy products cold,”
said
david kirschenbaum.
May 24
i don’t
think about it every day
but when
i do
like now
i just
want to say, you know, thanks,
truly.
May 25
heard
yr folks are headed east,
staying
in brighton beach.
are
they planning on exploring brighton beach
the
whole time?
because
if they are, well, that’s great.
but if
they're gonna be in the city most of the time
it's
gonna be a pain for them
and
costly on so many levels for them.
cabs?
beyond prohibitive.
renting
a car? parking on both ends, gas, maybe tolls, too.
depending
upon how they travel. this all adds up to a basically a vacation i wouldn't
wish on people i hate,
no less
ones i love.
anyway,
that’s my two cents,
in
hopes you might think everything's ok
or pass
the word on.
May 26
down to
last bit of bread
i
conserve
by
putting sugar free raspberry and apricot preserves in a bowl
with
chunks of cream cheese off a brick
and mix
them up as well as i can by hand
before
eating by plastic teaspoon.
May 27
i wanted
to see my niece michelle on her 19th birthday
and i’ve
only been back in my apartment for four days
and my
folks are due in the city in three days
(save
$16.50 long island roundtrip).
May 28
i’ve
liked the early start,
the beautiful
space,
the kind
owners.
i’ve
liked the early ends,
the
nearby diner’s huge, empty backroom,
haagen-dazs
chocolate chocolate chip from my most local supermarket
10 p.m. t.v.
May 29
blue
polka-dot crème shirt,
light
blue denim shorts
pigtails
girl
grabs a
mini pretzel rod
and
proceeds to suck the salt off
sticking
the minirod in and out of her mouth
as she
twists the rod with her hand
and
swirls her tongue around the rod.
before
grabbing a new minirod.
May 30
do all
dresses require a slip?
why are
slips needed?
why don’t
they just build them into dresses
or make
the dresses’ fabric thicker?
May 31
first
time in an ihop in like 30 years
no longer
eating pigs in blankets.
they’re
kind enough to make me a veggie omelette
in a
frying pan.
